Scars

Rusty

Moonlight flooded through the French doors of their brownstone bedroom bathing all in a shimmering silvery glow. It was April 12th, three years ago tonight they had found each other, and their worlds had tested them mightily as they moved toward love. Blissfully entwined they floated in the ecstasy of their love, knowing it would go on forever.

Vincent thoughtfully watched as she rested in his arms satisfied in a love that knew no bounds. I am truly blessed, this beautiful woman is my wife and even more unbelievable, she is the mother of my infant son. Jacob was a beautiful child, with his mothers’ looks, but most definitely his father’s brilliant blue eyes.

Catherine had made a world where they could live an almost normal life. She worked to expand his world and give him a wealth of new experiences far beyond his wildest imagination. He would never have dreamed he would be living Above with a wife and child. He kept reminding himself that only Catherine and Devin had been irresponsible enough to dream dreams that always included him. Daily he thanked the gods of fate for his new life…how all this happiness could be his?

Catherine stirred, her arm resting on his chest, her small fingers kneading the downy fur covering his chest enjoying the soft tactile feel of him. Vincent knew she was half awake, just drifting in that warm comfortable space. He rested his head on hers, inhaling her sweet scent, kissing the top of her head and savoring the pleasures of their loving. She stirred again and rolled a little away from him drifting into a peaceful sleep.

He rose and walked toward the French doors, absorbing the moonlight and peacefulness of the evening. He didn’t require nearly as much sleep as Catherine, even though their lovemaking was at times long and quite vigorous.

She had told him, "It’s silly to lie and watch me sleep," even though she had done that very thing, watched him as he slept. "I’m not going anywhere you know, I’ll be here always and forever…face it Vincent, you’re stuck with me! If there is something else you want to do, please do it, I’ll be here my love, never fear."

With a smile and a tilt of his head, he kissed her tenderly on her nose, "Catherine being stuck with you makes me the happiest man in the world…not to mention I love being stuck to you!"

Eventually he acquiesced to her way of thinking; he read, wrote in his journal or went out to walk in the park and then visited Below. He would always return just before she fully woke, playing a game of sorts to see if she knew where or if he had gone. If he went Below she could smell the candle smoke and earthy tunnel scent on his clothes. If he went Above she could smell the cool night air scent still lingering in his golden mane, but if he stayed in she would inhale his own unique musky masculine scent. Their life was good, filled with happiness, the joy of truly being together, and with the blessing of their son.

Vincent was so focused on the wonder of it all that he didn’t feel her wake.

She moved up behind him, tenderly kissed and then snuggled her face into his back.

"Ohhh… you feel so good and warm," she murmured as she tighten the embrace and slowly moved her hands up his chest.

Not moving or opening his eyes, he savored the tenderness in her touch, and whispered "perhaps you might want your fuzzy robe?"

"No, you’ll do just fine my love, you’re all the warmth and fuzziness I’ll ever need" she whispered, still slowly massaging his chest.

Enjoying the body to body contact was beginning to create desire and heat again in both of them. Coming around to stand in of front of him, she began placing soft kisses on his muscled chest, she tilted her head up and brushed his mane back over his shoulder still kissing and nibbling her way to her goal…his exotic lips. She stepped back to gaze at him in the luminescent glow of the moon light, her eyes wandering wantonly over his virile masculine body. They had only been living Above for a few weeks since the completion of the renovations took a bit longer than planned. In her eyes he saw her desire, and then sadness. He felt a shift in the bond, desire turning to sadness and guilt.

"Catherine, please…tell me what are you thinking about?"

"The moonlight is showing me your scars in a different light, and it suddenly came to me why they were there. It was because of me! I’ve caused you so much pain…I’m so sorry!" Tears suddenly stood in her eyes.

Gently he embraced her as she cried with her feelings of guilt for the pain and injuries he had suffered saving her from the dangers inherent in her work. He picked her up in his arms and moved to the side of their bed, he sat with her on his lap. He rocked her gently sending love through their bond and lightly rubbing her back trying to relieve the tension he felt there. Sadness and guilt were filling the bond from her side, causing him to think of other scars… the scars he had caused her.

Their bond was full of colliding emotions of love, understanding, pain and guilt. It was almost over whelming for both of them.

Gathering his thoughts Vincent tried to establish calm in the bond and sort out the emotions for both of them. Finally he spoke almost in a whisper," Catherine, we all have scars either visibly or invisibly. You must not blame yourself; I don’t blame you, how could I? I love you more than life itself. What I did… I did to save you and in doing so I was saving my own life. Without you I could not exist. You must also remember some of these scars are from accidents Below due to the work I must do to keep our world safe. Almost all of the men and even some of the women have scars from doing what is necessary to maintain our world, our home. Please don’t worry yourself; I would do anything to protect and save you as you have done for me. My love, you have given me the world, I would do it all again never to loose you and what we have. Catherine, you must understand that I have caused you scars, ones that can’t be seen, but they are there just the same" he said quietly.

She took a deep breath and pulled back starring at his darkening blue eyes quizzically.

"What are you talking about?"

"All the times I pushed you away, or left you alone while I went deep into the tunnels to find answers to questions that you already knew the answers to. These things caused scars on your heart and your soul. I’ve wondered why you didn’t leave me for causing you all that pain and leaving you with scars unseen…yet there. I didn’t believe I deserved to be loved and desired for who I am and for our dreams. The nights I sent you away and you cried yourself to sleep because I believed you should not sacrifice your life for me, for a dream I was sure could never be. These are scars you choose not to see because they aren’t manifested physically as mine. Don’t you think I feel guilty and ashamed knowing I caused them? I would do anything if I could take them away. But I can’t, just as you can’t take these away." He placed her hand on his shoulder. "We must remember that the pain of the past is part of the love we share now and always."

Quietly they sat for what seemed hours, finally accepting that nothing could change the past, but with their undeniable love they could certainly work on the future.

As they lay back together against the pillows, Catherine rolled on top of him and grinned," I have what I think is an imaginative plan."

"So I see…may I ask what you have planned?" He was smiling and waiting for whatever she had in mind, absolutely positive he would enjoy it.

"My plan my love, is…I’m going to kiss these scars until they go away no matter how long it takes. If it takes forever, so be it! Perhaps I’ll even work on the ones I didn’t cause."

"That I hope will take a life time However, I’m sure our son will be up soon and as he is his father’s son he will be hungry. Until then…I suppose you must continue your most enjoyable technique of scar removal." he said with a wide grin that let his canines shine brightly in the new dawn light.

"You know what they say, a woman’s work is never done. "

"Oh Catherine, my love, that would be my fondest wish!"